"Vetti" veru vasam...

I sometimes hit the gym, just sometimes. Onnu enga apartment gym out of orderla irukum, illa I will be. And when both of us are in good order, thats when the moon is blue and I hit the gym.

So naan appadi oru super dayla arambichu gym poitrundhen, appo thideernu there were a few black kids that started using our gym. Its against the rules for outsiders to use our gym, aana indha pasanga paatuku varuvanga, sandoshama work out panvanga, poitte...sorry ponadha naan parthadhilla. And engaloda receptionist alias security leaves at 7, and these kids enter at the same time.

One day I and a friend of mine were using the gym until 9, appovum andha pasanga anga dhan irundhanga, and we left. Ennadhan panranga indha pasanga nu sema curiosity enaku, but naama erkaneve adi pattu midhi padara case, thevaya idhellam nu vittuten. That day, I had left behind my keys in the gym, so I went back to the gym to get it. 9PM ku mela the fob won't work on the sensor (programmed-ama!!), so I had to knock at the door to get one of the kids to give my keys.

Knock panna....oru payyan varan..adhuvum eppadi, just shorts-oda :-o ivan shower roomlerndhu varan, seri ok pavam veetla thanni prachanai polanu ninaichitruken...another boy comes out in a similar attire from the same room!! (Vara vara parents ellam jadhi madham ellam use panni kadavula vendikardhuku badhila ponno payyano opposite sexla partner vachitta podhumnu vendikanum pola?!)

Indha gym multipurpose idam aaradhukulla kapathuvomnu next day I went up to the bulky receptionist and told him, "Dude, kanda pasanga kanda nerathula kanda vishayathukellam gym use panranga, can you please take some action?"

And the dude said "Why don't you call the police? I don't stay a minute after 7"!!

Yov, idhuku action eduka vendiyadhu nee ya, ivalooo periya udambai vachutu, receptionist/security nu per vachitu, edho atha vaiyum kamal rangeku dialogue vidarane..-nra kadupu enaku, but still

"I'll call the police, but can you be here when they come? These kids can't be coming in without access, right?"

"No no, you call the police and tell them what it is"

Kashtam, and I left it there. And the same week, our car got lost.

Ippo, ivar panra vetti velaiku ivaruku assistant vera indha apartmentla. Avanai edhavadhu ketta, the boss has to answer-nran, indha "boss"-a ketta, "you have to ask the management"-nran...idhai solradhuku anga oru notice board pathadhanu yosichitruken..

Manidhan enbavan...

Enaku konjame konjamavadhu facebook mela respect irundhudhu, atleast people gather together, share opinions on things, politics discussion ellam nadakudhu nu, but now yosichitruken enakellam idhula id thevaya nu...

Konja naal munnadi I had a cartoon done by me uploaded on FB. Adhu nijamave maha mokkai cartoon (obviously naan varainja vera epdi irukum...) but still was uploaded. Now indha cartoonala ulagathuku naan edhuvume solla varala, and andha cartoon onnum avaloooo periya cartoon illa...but it got loads of likes and comments, and remarks about the finishing etc. Seri sathiyama enaku finishingna ennanu theriyadhu, but atleast oru mokkai cartoon potta kooda fb people are magnanimous enough to appreciate it. Ok, that's a score for FB.

Yesterday I had a serious cause..ada nijamave serious cause! I wanted to know which Indian NGO was genuine for organ donation registration. In the UK, nhs offers the registry (NHS Organ donor registry, if anyone ever reads this and is interested), so there is no problem with registering. Enaku sema doubt, naama India poitomna inga register pannadhu useless ayidum, so angayum lets registernu I decided, but when I googled there were a lot of orgs that offered registration.

Naamadhan romba romba clever (?!) ache, so en decision ellam correcta irukadhu, so oru 4 perai kettu we'll decide nu I posted a 2 liner on FB asking if anyone knows of any genuine org in India for organ donation. Seri namma contactsla  there are a few people, atleast 10 of them will know and respond nu I was expecting. Guess what, I had exactly, and exactly 1 suggestion pointing to Mohan foundation!!

Cartoonku comment podaranga, live updates ku comment podaranga, poonai kutty walking pochu na kooda comment podaranga makkal, but for a good cause no one knows the answer, or don't have the inclination to respond - strange! Damaal, damaal, damaaaal nu niraya explosion kekkudhu mandai kulla, maybe I should try posting this as a celebrity? Will I get a response??

En veetula naan irundhene...

Ippo konja naala veetla irukardhala at times I get way too bored, especially when nothing interests me. Seri indha anda sarasaramum panra mukkiyamana timepass namalum pannalamnu I decided, and that was...browsing. Browsing ellam long since gone, infact browsernu onnu idle-a irukara ore pc/laptop is mine, ofcourse along with PCs that are in a state of repair!

Anyway, endha topiclayum interest illana enna panradhu? Go to standard sites like facebook/email/worst case tech humor sites like thedailywtf.com. But idhukellam poi kadi dhan I got..

First this facebook..problem enna na namaku romba therinjavanga either iruka mattanga, irundha post poda mattanga, appadiye pottutanga na you can't relate to it! Seri mathavanga ellam enna panranga nu partha, half of them run their families on FB :-/ Or atleast treat it like a personal diary! I don't see what interest I get out of knowing they had a herbal tea, or that it tasted divine, or that they are tired and want a glass of milk...ada pavigala, unga familyku solla vendiyadhellam engaluku sonna what do we do? And then there are brahaspathis that post pearls of wisdom like "Speech is silver, and silence is Platinum"! Enna oru super thathuvam, but that should mean this post shouldn't have been there in the first place! And indha madhiri chappai mattersku oru 20 like, 20 comments etc! Idhukudhan oru arivaali appove ennai kettar, "nee ellathaiyum fbla poduviya" nu, lol how right he was, it does get boring! Even worse is getting friend requests from people who have no idea who you are!

Enna kodumaida saravana, idhuvavadhu facebook, but why would you get add requests on linkedin from people you don't know?! Seri atleast en professionlerndhu friend request ketta kooda ok (adhuve why I have no idea!), but chartered accountant, real estate, non-IT folks lam kooda podaranga?! Idhula LinkedIn wants us to know who visited our profiles in the last 90 days...odadha movie ku ticket collection evalonu kekkarangalam :))

Thankfully I am not on twitter, orkut, google+ etc, irundhirundha this post would have gone longer!

I suppose enaku mattumdhan this problem, everyone else does seem to enjoy fb-ing/browsing/emailing :-/ Ok back to my self analysis...

Aazhvarpettai andava..vettiya pottu thandava

Oru dharmamum mahabharathil illayada! appadinu padanum poliruku, after watching Mahabaratham in Vijay!

Iniku am in a very cynical mood ninaikaren, aana seriously indha mahabaratham fulla dharmam dharmam nu koovi koovi vikkarangale, adhu engadhan kadaila irukunu theditruken! Ofcourse Mahabaratham has sown seeds for scientific advances like IVF. Kadavul la arambichu munivargal varaikum pora varavangalai ellam kooptu kooptu kuzhandhai vangikaranga ladieslam idhula (?!) no one seems to be the right heir.

Anyway back to dharma - mudhalla this swayamvaram, enna ivalo comedy panranga andha matterla? Indha Amba ponnu yarayo love pannumam aana adhai sollama swayamvaram vaipangalam. Adhudhan kodumai na, indha Beeshmar payyana kootitu pogama ivare adavadi adichu ponnungalai thookuvaram! Ayya swayamvaram na  ponnungale choose pannikardhu, neenga poi namma payyandhan choice nu sollikardhu illa!!

Aduthu Draupadi! Madam, if you and your dad want a specific person, why not call him directly or stick a 100 posters around your country asking for him? Idhuku oorpatta princes call panni, adhuku selavu panni, podha kuraiku oruthanai insult panni...why this kolaveri? Avangalukellam enna vera velaiya illa, for all that time they can be trying for another girl!

Seri Draupadi gets married and goes to Pandavas' house, where Kunti says "Share what you got" without even looking at what they got. Theriyamadhan kekkaren, how much time will it take to explain to her that it is a girl? Mom soltanga-nradhukaga nijamave people share the girl?! :-o Ada atleast Kunti should know right?

I don't want to cite the entire Mahabaratham, there are a lot of such incidents but what I don't understand is, we are told to learn our virtues from epics. But idhula adichu thookaranga, teacher student-oda virala kekkarar, oru ponnai 5 per katranga, vari vazhangara karnan gets insulted and killed, mathavanga time ellam waste panranga but they get victory at the end...ketta trivial athumeerals for the greater good nu simple answer solduvanga :) I suppose namma oor political parties madhiri, who is the better of the worst nu parthu win panna vachitangalo?!

Oorana oorukulla unnai pola yarumilla....

Indha post is completely dedicated to my thanga thalaivar at work. Ayyayayayayao indha madhiri oru aathma-va naan engayume parthadhillada saami :( I mean I have had thanga thalaivars ranging from cool to conservative, aana ippadi oru thalai, chance-e illa!

Usually oru manager na pudhu initiatives edunga, naan encourage panren nu solvanga. Naan inga serndha pudhusula my project got over, and thought edhavadhu useful-a panlam, ada kurainja patcham will make my life easier here nu yosichu I suggested using source code control. Yeah you heard it right, in 2012, when sourcecontrol is the norm of the millenium, I was suggesting to start using it.  Idhukaga I put up a proposal doc, even a ppt to stress the reasons. Ideally enaku idhuku vizhave eduthurkanum, but I wasn't too greedy and expected atleast an approval at the very minimum. But guess what I got? "That's waste of time"!!! Please thookellam pottukadheenga, coz naan innum uyiroda dhan iruken ;-)

Seri adhudhan ok, pudhu initiatives venam, atleast chumma irukara timela en sondha velai ellam parthukalam nu I thought. So ennoda doc appointment, milkman appointment, newspaper karan appointment edhavadhu schedule pannitu indha manushan kitta poi "can I work from home as this appointment needs to be met?" appadinu paavama ketta, "Since your appointment is by 1:30PM, why don't you come to work and leave by lunch" appadinrar :( Yov, oorla irukara athanai perum wfh nu edho panrangale, adhu en naan panna mattum ungaluku pidika mattengudhu? Idhellam kooda ok, "ennoda flight to India is by 5PM, can I wfh?" nu thaniya kooptu paridhabama ketta, "you be at work until lunch time and then leave, obviously you'd have packed the bags the previous evening" appadinrar !! Ulagame flight kilambara aniku wfh dhane pannum, I mean atleast whoever I know do just that!!

The above ellam kooda poruthuppen, aana scaring me from behind dhan sathiyama thanga mudiyala...naan enna school kuzhandhaiya? Thideernu pinnalerndhu vandhu pesuvar, just to startle me, and given that my desk faces the wall, ennala pinnalerndhu varardhai kandu pidika kooda mudiyadhu! The joy he gets out of making me jump up from my seat, adadadaadada, enna siripu ethanai sirippu....grrrrr..I'll stop here, mudiyala, azhudhuduven!

Kettum pattanam poi seru-nu...

Usually I don't meet up with friends, appadiye thappi thavari meet panniten-na adhu ennoda ella factors-ayum (adhavadhu idam porul eval kuttisathan) cover pannina the meeting happens nu artham. And trust me, idhu varaikum indha ella factors-um have never come together well. So I have never met up with friends.

Ippadi sandoshama irundha ennai, well ofcourse why let me be happy nu oru nallava yosicha. That nallava is Shuba, yeah yeah adhe butterflies ponnudhan. One fine day she called me up, and said lets meet up the next day. Onne onnu sollunga, yaravadhu namma ooruku vandha mudhalla veetuku varuvanga, right? Outright-a first meete lets go out and roam this place-na koopduvanga? "Machi, kilambi vaa machi, Bath poi nalla suthalam" -nu oru invitation!

Seri, namma friends vera eppadi irupanga, nammala madhiridhane irupanga nu I started looking for trains to her station, and we finally zeroed in on a train that leaves by 8 AM from central london. Naan night train site ellam parthu perfecta ennoda travel plan pannitu thoongitten.

Next day morning I woke up by 5:30AM, and got ready and left by 6:30 for the local railway station. Almost 2 mins late aayiduchu nu oru little marathon odi station reach pannina....there was a huge tape covering the entrance of the station!! (For those who asked me all these days if the kodumais are over, here goes!) Dei paavigala, nethu site-la ellam closed ne podalaye da nu mind scream pannikitte velila oru nallavar kitta "enunga na, indha stationlerndhu innoru stationku eppadingna poradhu"-nu ketta, avar "kannu, ipdiye road-a cross panni andha pakkam bus pidichu po" appadinu anupitar :( And the bus was by 6:57 AM, leaving me just 1 hr to get the train from central london to Bath. Neenga kekkalam, en adutha bus pidika koodadha nu, this the only bus that reaches in 1hr 50 mins, the other buses take 2.5 hrs and are spaced at 1hr :( :( and considering it gets darker by 4PM here....

Shuba-ku call panni sonnen, and the arivali madam suggested taking a bus to Bath...aana engerndhu indha bus ellam kilambudhu nu she doesn't know :-/ Seri chola dynasty makkalkellam Internet poi serala innum paavamnu I browsed on my phone, and guess what it said, 5 hrs to Bath!! £*&£*&%£(&$£) appadinu avalai asingama thittitu I boarded the 6:57 bus and headed to the interim station.

Bus andha station reach panna udane next mini marathon odi underground station poi, was at the platform for the next possible train to central london. Andha train came on time, and I was calculating the time...seri 10 mins time irukum to find the train on the other platformnu yosichite irundhen, appo perfecta the train broke down! :)) Ada paavigala, andha train pidikave vida matteengalanu kadupaga arambicha udane, thankfully it started. Seri ippovavadhu Internet vandhirukum chozhargaluku nu Shuba-ku sms panninen, "machi endha platformla train start aagudhunu paaru". Next minute oru call, "Naan breakfast saptutruken, so can't check"...grrr, idhoda vitrukalam, koodave "machi, tension aagadha machi, nee pidikanumnu irundha andha train-a pidippa" nu philosophy vera...GRRR...higher decibel-la &*£&$£*&$*"&$)( thittitu I hung up.

Anyways, the train reached the central london station with 10 mins to spare...oh, I forgot to mention that I didn't get my tickets either, stationla vangikalamnu vittuten. So another mini marathon (trust me, ennai olympicsla vitta Indiaku niraya medal vangi tharuven, edhulanu don't ask) to the platforms...and I spotted a couple of railway officials. Adhula oruthar kitta poi (8 mins left) "guru, Bath pora train endha platform guru" nu ketten. Avar udane pakkathula irundha aal kitta, "Bhai, which platform does Bath train go from?" nu kettar. And the other guy said "hold on a min while I help this kid" nu soltu, oru 10 vayasu payyanuku vazhi solla arambichutar. Yov, 10 vayasu payyanlam en thaniya varan, poi appa ammava kekka sollu nu I wanted to shout, but as always thitta theryama parthutrundhen :( I kept on lamenting I have got only 5 mins (5 mins left) when finally he sent off the kid, and came with the awesome response of "Oh I don't know"!!!!

Ada paavigala, idhuka ennai wait panna vacheenga nu marupadiyum odinen, odinen station-in orathirke odinen...bayam vera, with just 2 mins, ticket vera illa....but eventually I boarded the train with just a minute to spare :D :D and poruppa I checked with the pantry lady that they do sell tickets on the train.

The train started, and started chugging away. Naanum porumaiya wait pannitrundhen, for the ticket inspector to come. The first stop went by, but no sight of the inspector....enada idhu nu naane went in search of him (gandhi porandha manla porandhuttu....), but the pantry lady told me she didn't know where he was, and that I can buy tickets after I leave the train...ada, idhu romba super arrangementa iruke nu thalai-la adichukitte I went back to my seat and resumed waiting. Kadaiseela my station arrived, and still I hadn't purchased the tickets...

Irangina udane Shuba came running :), after all this is the second time we are meeting in life ;-) hugging bugging ellam mudichutu, I was trying to find the ticket counter (I know I know...it is very annoying) and finally came out of the station because the bays were open without a ticket!! And am still waiting for the ticket inspector to this day.....;-)

Otta otta otta test mudiyala...

cha, i think the time has come for countries to recognize and appreciate the indian mentality and bend things based on that :( ennanga space-e bend aagudhu, rules bend aaga koodadha??

all this for a stupid driving test!! Neengale sollunga, does chennai have roundabouts? or does tamilnadu have roundabouts - verum traffic signal dhane iruku? appo andha oorlerndhu varavangaluku roundabout concept varadhunu freeya vida vendiyadhudhane? Oor fulla roundabout vacha oru manushan, sorry manushi enna panva?? Driving test fail dhane aava? :(

So there, I went for the driving test and according to my instructor, got the best examiner the world could possibly ask for...and idhayum sollanum, my instructor just wanted to get me off her car, supposedly romba kodumai padutharenam avangalai :D adhanala she was praying all possible Satans (she is an atheist) that I pass this test.

Naanum seri ok, naama engangayo drive pannirukom, alpa Londonla panna mattoma (micha edathula no roundabout I forgot) appadinu car eduthen...mudhal 10 mins nalla pochu, easy manouvre, left edu, right edu-nutrundhanga. Appuramdhan thideernu the supernatural powers decided it isn't worth watching a non-adventurous exam. Examiner sonnanga, neeye direction parthu indha area pakkam po nu, so naanum ottite ponen and I must have missed the direction board somewhere, that I got confused which way to go in the roundabout. Idhu normal dhan, but what is not normal is that I had gone through that route 10 times and I knew which exit I should take. Yet, kadaisi nimishathula andha exit illainu naane decide panni nera poitten - ada adhu kooda parvallainga, I went into the road and attempted to continue onto a private walkway a.k.a the area's towncenter :(

Aaha, nammalai kolai pannadhan vandhiruku idhunu decide-e pantanga andha examiner, she started yelling "turn turn turn", and paavam kathiye uyir poida pogudhunu I turned the car into another street. Marupadiyum konja neram romba boring-a pochu drive, and she said I want you to do this route. Indha "this route"-nradhum naan 10 times attempt paninadhudhan, so one would have thought it was cakewalk. But since it happened to me, and it happened to be the test, I happily drove into a buslane that was marked 24 hours :)), and I had known it wasn't allowed. Idhuku mela andha paatiyala mudiyala, avangale steered into the adjacent lane :))

See, I understand road-nu irundha van varum, lorry varum, cycle varum, en poonaikutti kooda varum - aana en idhellam en driving test podhu varanum? And especially when I had just started the car thinking not one vehicle is around, and suddenly dart in like some vittalacharya movie?

Anyways, the patti decided I don't read road signs (nyayamdhan, signboard-e parkalana vera enna solvanga), I don't observe well (thanks poonaikutti, cycle, van) and that I am bent upon killing her (which I don't understand, do you?)..and now my instructor says she wants to rip my head off :(